The Number Death

By Melissa Ren

four • 四

[/fɔːr/] • [/sì/] | [number] • [数词]

the sum of two plus two • 数字，比三大一的正整数

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die • 死

[/daɪ/] • [/sǐ/] | [verb] • [动词]

the end of life • 生物丧失生命

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In the Chinese language, unlucky is the number four for it’s homophonous to the word die. Sì and sǐ. Should any four interfere with your life, death awaits you. To keep luck on your side, you follow these rules to avert the number death. 

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1. Everything in threes.

What you do: Have only two friends throughout your childhood who remain in your life through adulthood, forming the perfect trio. You’re skeptical of making new friends because adding another friendship would bring your group up to four. Though adding two new friends would bring your collective up to five, it also means you’d have four friends in total. This potential outcome births anxiety whenever you meet new people. So, you keep everyone at arm’s length, unsure how to manage new relationships. Your interactions are stilted, and people perceive you as stand-offish. Throughout university, classmates whisper behind your back. When you enter the workforce, your colleagues never smile at you. Microaggressions follow you everywhere you go. 

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2. Should you have children, keep them to ≤ three, or ≥ five. But who has five children?

What you do: Marry and have one child, so your family unit remains as three. Your child wants a pet hamster. Unsure if a pet counts as an official member of the family, you get two to be safe. When your partner wants more children, you intentionally try for twins, but soon realize that science cannot guarantee that outcome. Instead, you explore surrogacy and IVF, and synchronize two births down to their C-sections. You go into debt because two IVF procedures cost $30,000. 

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3. Rid yourself of fours.

What you do: Buy everything in pairs: table settings, dishes, dining room chairs, patio furniture—that is, until you move out of your condo. With your first baby on the way, owning items in pairs no longer meets your needs. So, you purchase everything in sixes instead of fours. You’ve stuffed your house with extra items you’ll never use, taking up all that extra space you thought you’d have by upgrading homes. Eventually, you move into a bigger place because your IVF babies are on the way. You barely have the energy to raise a family of three, tend to two pets, maintain your marriage, keep your big house tidy—let alone take care of yourself. You’re so damn tired.

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4. Avoid the number four at all costs.

What you do: When house hunting, you ask your realtor to remove any listings with the number four in the address. But your husband found the perfect home for your family of five, located at the end of a quiet street with a view of the park. He convinces you to attend an open house, which you regret the moment you walk through the front door. You fall in love with the high ceilings, the loft on the third floor and the walk-in closets. Determined for the house to be yours, you make a bully offer the seller can’t refuse. Once the sale is finalized, you apply for a revision of property numbering through the municipality. The city denies your request. Reluctantly, and after many arguments with your spouse, you put the house back on the market.

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5. But also avoid fourteen, twenty-four, thirty-four, forty-four, and so on. 

What you do: Never celebrate a birthday that contains a four. This includes your first born’s fourth birthday. Your partner stares at you, wide-eyed in disbelief, expecting you to make an exception. But you don’t. This is who you are and you’ll never change. He moves out, taking the kids with him. On your forty-fourth birthday, what you call a ‘double death birthday,’ you are alone.

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Melissa Ren is a Chinese-Canadian writer whose narratives tend to explore the intersection between belonging and becoming. She is a prize recipient of Room Magazine's Fiction Contest, a Tin House alum, a grant recipient of the Canada Council for the Arts, and an editor at Augur Magazine / Tales & Feathers. Her writing has appeared or forthcoming in Factor Four Magazine, Fusion Fragment, DreamForge Magazine, and elsewhere. Find her at linktr.ee/MelissaRen or follow @melisfluous on socials. In the audio recording of the story, the English portions are read by Melissa and the Mandarin by A. Y. Chao (aychao.com).

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